Ashes of Angels
by That Tath
Summary: An angel has brought news of Castiel’s death, yet when Dean starts seeing their fallen friend he questions this messenger’s motives. But when they're isolated from everyone else, what can they do except play along and hope that their fears are unfounded?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Winchesters or any other recognizable characters.**

**A/N: This started as a short oneshot, which I then expanded into a full length story, so if the beginning part of this chapter seems a bit different than the rest, that's why. Takes place after 4.10 and please, don't worry. You'll see what I mean later, but **_**don't worry**_**. **

Dean slipped from his motel room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Although it had been brutally hot earlier in the day it was late enough- or rather, early enough- for it to have cooled down considerably. Even if it had been scorching, though, he still would have gone out. Once again the nightmares had become too much for him to deal with. He wouldn't be getting any sleep anytime soon and if he stayed inside he'd only wake Sam up.

Though he had wandered outside to escape the nightmares, he couldn't stop his eyes from instinctively wandering towards the sky. The motel was too isolated; apart from the neon light out front it was completely dark. Just empty blackness- like hell. Though Dean was never one for worrying about the heavens, the stars were his lifeline when the memories became too much. There weren't any stars in hell. As long as he could see them he knew he wasn't back there and that knowledge was enough to calm most of his fears.

His gaze wandered over to the Impala and sighed. Even with the stars twinkling overhead, he wasn't completely at peace. He wanted to do nothing more than to get behind the wheel and drive as far as he could, as fast he could. No looking back, no stopping. Just him and the car, with the road beneath the wheels and AC/DC blasting through the speakers. "Yeah, like that'd do me any good…" he muttered. He couldn't drive away from the memories. No matter what he did, no matter where he went, they'd always be there.

He walked towards the road, glancing briefly to his left and right, silently debating whether or not it would be worth it to go for a run for a bit, though he knew that no matter how far he ran he would never become tired enough to sleep dreamlessly. With another sigh he walked across the dusty road and through the brush on the other side until finally he sagged to the ground, holding his head in his hands. Hidden from view by the tall grass he finally let down his defenses. He was exhausted, running on barely an hour of sleep, blaring music, and enough caffeine to kill a horse ten times over. He couldn't keep doing this forever, but he was going to keep at it for as long as he could.

He lay down in the grass, his head resting on his arms. His eyes were fixed on the stars again, idly trying to locate the patterns he knew only by name. Orion and the Big Dipper and whatever the name of that bear one was. He snorted. "Knowing my luck they're right overhead," he muttered. "Too bad I'll never know if they are."

As he continued to stare up at the heavens, Dean couldn't help but wonder where Castiel was. Neither brother had heard from him, Uriel, Anna, or any other angel for that matter since Anna had regained her grace a few weeks ago. It wasn't that Dean was worried for him. He knew that the angel was more than capable of taking care of himself, but he still found it curious. After everything with Anna, after Dean had finally given in and talking to Sam, after _all that_, couldn't he stop by to just offer a few words of heavenly wisdom?

"You bring me back for hell and just forget about me?" Dean yelled. "C'mon, you can't expect me to help you if I don't know what to do!"

There wasn't any response. Not that Dean had expected there to be, though. He knew that if Castiel hadn't seen the need to talk to him yet he certainly wouldn't come just because Dean called. Still, he wished the angel had. He hated not knowing where he stood with Castiel because it was times like this, when he was alone with his memories of hell, he began to wonder what would happen if God decided he didn't need him anymore.

"And there I go again, thinking only of myself when there's an apocalypse to stop, a brother to keep on the right path, and countless evil sons of bitches to stop," he muttered. Years of putting others before him had caused Dean to feel guilty when he began to worry about himself, because there were so many others that he should be worrying about instead.

The sun was just starting to rise in the distance and he reluctantly stood up and made his way back across the road to the motel room. He unlocked the door and reached for the pad of paper and pen that was on the nearby table.

_Sam-_

_Left to get food. Starting packing when you get up, I want to hit the road earlier than we did yesterday_

_-Dean_

He tossed the pad back down on the table and swiped the keys from where he had set them the night. Once he was in the car he put in a tape and turned it up almost as loud as it could go. Without coffee, there was no way he would stay awake unless he had his music.

He had just reached the decent sized town about half an hour away when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID for a second before flipping it open. "Didn't expect you to be up so early, Sleeping Beauty."

"Very funny," Sam said dryly. "Listen, how far out are you?"

"Just reached the town we drove through yesterday, so maybe thirty minutes away from the motel. Why?" If Sam called him while it was on a food run it was either to remind him to pick something up or something was wrong- and Dean was pretty sure it was the latter this time.

There was silence on the other end of the line for a second and Dean's heart skipped a beat. "Sammy? Sammy!"

"Dean, calm down, I'm right here," Sam said. "Look… just forget about the food, okay? You should probably get back here soon."

"Is everything alright?"

Sam sighed. "I'm fine, Dean."

That wasn't what he had asked. "Sam…"

"Look, I'm fine. No one's getting suspicious, nothing's attacked the room, and neither Bobby nor anything other hunter called in the last half hour."

"Then what's this about?"

"Just come back to the motel room, I'll explain when you get here."

Before Dean could continue the conversation Sam had hung up. "Damn it," he muttered as he turned around and sped back to the motel. All he could think about was something actually being wrong and getting there too late- and that terrified him more than the thought of hell. He slammed his foot down on the gas pedal, his heart racing despite his attempts to calm down.

He screeched to a halt in the motel parking lot fifteen minutes later, gun already drawn and out of the car in an instant. If his brother hadn't come bursting out of the room only a few seconds later he would've gone in there shooting first and asking questions later, despite Sam's earlier insistence that everything was fine.

"Dean! Calm down!" Sam said as he grabbed his arm and pushed it down, forcing him to lower the gun.

"What's going on, Sam?" Dean's voice was harsh, his whole body on the alert.

"Dean, nothing's wrong. There's just… someone showed up not long after you left."

"Who?" he asked. "Ruby?" Sam shook his head. "Cas?"

"Dean…" Sam sighed. "C'mon, it's better if he explains…"

"He?" Dean asked, but Sam didn't answer; he was already making his way back towards the room. Dean rolled his eyes, but followed close behind him. His gun was still held carefully in his hand, just in case.

It didn't take long for him to figure out what Sam was talking about. Standing in the middle of their motel room, back facing the door, was a tall man dressed in a crisp suit. He turned around as the two of them entered the room.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean asked before the man could say anything.

"I am Aniel," he said.

"Huh. Interesting name you've got there." Dean tucked his gun away and shrugged out of his jacket before it hit him. "Don't tell me…"

"Yeah," Sam said. "_Another_ angel."

"You sure?" Dean's voice was just barely loud enough for Sam to hear, though it wouldn't have surprised him if the new angel had heard as well.

"Splashed holy water on him when he first got here," Sam murmured. "Didn't do anything."

Dean nodded. He had almost expected as much; he highly doubted Sam would let a stranger stay in their motel room without making sure he wasn't a demon first. "So you're an angel, huh?" He said, turning back to face Aniel. "What, Cas didn't want to come down to face me so he sent you instead?"

Aniel glanced sharply at Sam. "You didn't tell him?" Sam just shook his head.

"Tell me what?" Dean was getting tired of being left in the dark.

Aniel opened his mouth to answer but Sam quickly cut him off. "I'll explain," he said quickly. Aniel tilted his head slightly, a slightly confused look crossing his face for a second. Sam forced a smile and said, "You guys don't always give the news nicely."

There was silence in the room for a moment before Sam said, "Dean, do you remember when Cas was fighting Alastair?"

"Course I do, Sammy," Dean said. "Alastair got the upper hand and almost killed him."

Sam nodded. He looked uncomfortable, like he would rather be doing something else, but he continued anyway. "Well, there was another battle a few weeks ago…"

Dean frowned. "What're you saying?" But he knew what his brother was saying. He could almost hear Castiel talking to him in Bobby's kitchen. _Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. _"Sam…"

"There wasn't anyone to save him this time around," Sam said quietly. "Dean… I'm sorry."

Dean didn't say anything. He may not have been overly fond of the angel- hell, he'd been yelling at him just that morning, and that hadn't been the first time- but Castiel had been a good person and he didn't deserve to die at the hands of demons. "What happened?" he finally asked.

"There was a battle over one of the seals a few weeks ago," Aniel said. "We emerged victorious, but there were many casualties. Castiel, however, was taken by the demons, dragged back to hell so they could torture him for information. We searched and searched through every bit of hell for him, but couldn't find him. It wasn't until yesterday that we found him, but by then they were disposing of his corpse."

Dean flinched. He could almost feel their knives digging into him again, slowly ripping the skin from his bones. Words couldn't describe how horrible that was, but Dean knew that what had happened to him was mere child's play compared what Castiel must have gone through. He knew the difference between the types of torture, and he had cut into more than one soul with the intention of getting information about a particular person from them. The thought of Castiel going through that made him sick to his stomach.

He didn't realize that he had started to shake until Sam had grabbed him, helping to support his weight as he led him over to one of the beds and pushed him down onto it. Dean knew that his brother thought he was freaking out over the news of Castiel's death and he almost felt guilty because that wasn't the case at all. Once again it was the memories of his own time in hell that had him on the verge of a panic attack.

_Stop thinking about yourself! Lilith is still trying to break the seals; Castiel's death doesn't change that. _"What happens now?" he asked, his mind quickly moving onto the bigger picture. "What are we supposed to do?"

"You pack," Aniel said. "And leave as soon as you can. Drive as far as you can, as fast as you can. I'll rejoin you at the next motel."

"I don't understand." Dean looked over at his brother, though he couldn't really be surprised by his brother's reaction; he too was wondering what they were running from. _Guess Aniel here didn't tell Sammy everything before I got back…_

"Sam, Castiel's death has implications far greater than you can understand."

"What? Now we don't have an angel hovering over us all the time without actually _doing_ anything?" Sam was only barely hiding the sarcasm in his voice and Dean glared at him, silently warning him to tread carefully.

"No. I am taking over Castiel's position," Aniel told him. "They wanted to give the job to Uriel, since you already know him, but considering how he feels about humans…" His voice trailed off, but both brothers knew what he meant. "I am to take a more active role in preparing you for what should happen if Lilith succeeds."

Sam frowned. "Why the running then? What are you guys so afraid of?"

"An angel in hell is not like a human soul down there," Aniel said slowly. "The demons… they treat one of us differently. All it takes is one deep cut and they can pull out their grace. When that's separated, the angel becomes human."

"Like Anna."

Aniel nodded. "The now-human angel is then tortured far more than another human soul would be and, unaccustomed to pain, it doesn't take long for them to break."

Sam's face paled as the pieces fell into place. "And once they tell the demons everything they need to know, they're killed, aren't they? So they can't find their grace and become angels again?"

Aniel nodded again.

"So basically what you're saying is that the demons know everything Castiel knew," Dean said. "Including everything about is." He shook his head. "We are so _screwed_."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I only own Aniel (though I wish I owned the boys).**

**A/N: Sorry for the bit of the delay and shorter chapter, I'm just coming off a week of midterms. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner! Also, I had NO idea about how angels, demons, etc. traveling while they're in a human body, so from here on in I'm making it up as I go along. **

Dean had half expected Sam to launch into a huge speech when they reached the Impala; something about _how do we know we can trust_ _him_ and _are we just going to listen to him_, with an underlying, but unspoken, _what do we do now_, but it never came. Instead he just threw his bag into the car before quietly sliding into the passenger seat. Dean glanced over at him worriedly, but couldn't suppress the grin that spread across his face when he saw that Sam was gazing unseeingly out the front windshield, his mind already working to fit the pieces together.

Dean turned on the music as he pulled out of the motel. Sam would talk to him in his own time. He knew, now more than ever, how obnoxious it could be to be pestered for information when you didn't want to talk; he wasn't going to do that to Sam, not when he knew he would confide in him soon enough.

In the frantic rush to pack and get on the road Dean hadn't really had a chance to stop and think about _what_ exactly they were doing. Now, with nothing to really distract him, he was starting to regret just running out on the angel's orders. He hadn't blindly followed anyone in almost two years- not since his father had died, anyway. He didn't know Aniel at all; it unnerved Dean to think about how _convincing_ he had been.

They had just entered another small town and, in an attempt to think about something other than his father, Dean began to study the people and buildings. It was something he used to do as a kid to pass the time during long car trips between his dad's jobs. He never knew if any of the theories he came up with were true but even when he was young he knew that he was probably completely wrong.

He quickly spotted a middle aged woman with a small gaggle of children surrounding her and began to silently come up with a story that vaguely resembled that of the Pied Piper. Dean was trying to think about what she would do with the children she had kidnapped when he suddenly slammed on his brakes, whipping his head around to stare behind him.

"Dean, what the hell are you doing!?" Sam yelled, rubbing his collarbone where the seatbelt had dug in. "You're lucky this isn't a busy street, you just can't stop in the middle of the road like that!"

Dean slowly turned around, breathing deeply and trying to calm his racing heart. "Sorry, Sammy," he said distractedly as he began driving again.

"Why'd you stop anyway?"

"I… nothing." Dean wasn't going to tell Sam why he slammed on his brakes. The fact was, he could hardly believe it himself. Still, he glanced in his rearview mirror anyway. The familiar looking man in the tan trench coat wasn't there anymore, though he refused to listen to the small part of him that insisted that that would make sense if it really was Castiel. It couldn't be the angel, it just couldn't be. _God, now I'm seeing things? Maybe I should try to get some more sleep- isn't one of the signs of sleep deprivation hallucinations or something?_

"Dean? Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?"

_Oh crap_. "Look, Sam, if this is about what happened back there, I really don't-"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean, I've been talking about Aniel. Are you sure we can trust him?"

"You were the one that splashed holy water on him, let him into our motel room, and agreed to leave town," Dean pointed out.

Sam winced. "Touché," he murmured, before launching back into his rant. "I know, but I've been thinking about it. Dean, what the hell are we doing? We don't even know if this guy really is an angel. He's not _anything_ like Castiel was!"

"Uriel wasn't too similar to Castiel either, though."

Sam stared at his brother. "Since when are you sticking up for them?" he asked.

"Since when are you against them?" Dean countered. "I thought you were supposed to be the religious one."

"It's not that I'm against them, but don't you think we're rushing into this? I mean, we talk to this Aniel guy at once, for less than an hour, and suddenly we're on the road on _his_ orders, with no proof that any of his story is real? We know _nothing_ about him!"

"If you threw holy water on him then he's not a demon…" Dean began, but Sam quickly cut him off.

"That's not necessarily true."

Dean frowned. "What're you talking about? You throw holy water on a demon and it burns them. You know that."

Sam shook his head. "Not always. Remember when Yellow Eyes possessed Dad?"

Dean's hands tightened almost imperceptibly on the steering well. "Of course," he said tersely. "What about it?"

"I splashed holy water on him, Dean, and nothing happened," Sam said quietly. "And before you say it, yes, he did get past the salt- but Yellow Eyes wasn't affected by salt barriers either."

Dean froze. "So what you're saying is Yellow Eyes is back and pretending to be an angel," he said woodenly, cringing at his own pathetic attempt at a joke.

Sam sighed. "What I'm saying is that we need to consider the possibility that maybe this guy isn't what he says he is. I'm willing to bet that more demons than just Alastair are pissed that you escaped from hell, and not all of them are going to be the low-level ones we usually encounter."

"Or he could actually be an angel, which would explain him being impervious to holy water and salt," Dean said. "And unless we force him under a Devil's Trap and try to exorcise him, we'll never know."

Sam shook his head. "Castiel's dead, you're believing in angels, I'm seeing demons everywhere, and we're driving through the middle of nowhere on the orders of someone we just met." He snorted. "What the hell is wrong with us?"

Dean chuckled and the two of them fell back into a comfortable silence. They did their best to keep traveling as much as possible, only making a few stops and eating their meals as they drove. It wasn't the sun had already set that Dean asked, "Think we should find a motel for the night?"

"Hm? Yeah, probably," Sam said, looking up from the articles he had been going through. "Hey, what town are we in?"

"Fairfield, I think," Dean said. "Why?"

"Over the past couple of weeks people have been going crazy- like full out, straight-jacket and padded room crazy," Sam explained. "All of them started to act different on Monday and had to be institutionalized by Saturday. By the end of that Sunday, they all died."

Dean glanced down at the articles his brother was holding. "So what are you thinking? Vengeful spirit?"

"Maybe," Sam said. "We'd have to do some digging to figure it out, though. Do you think Aniel's going to want us sticking around long enough to look into it, though?"

Dean bit back the_ He's not our father_ comment that was on the tip of his tongue; that would open an entirely new can of worms that he didn't want to deal with. "He can't stop us from doing our job," he finally said.

It wasn't long after that they saw the all-too-familiar neon sign marking the location of the local motel. Dean parked the car and grabbed their duffels and weapons while Sam was checking in. When he returned, Sam tossed him one of the keys and unlocked their motel room, flicking on the light switch as he walked inside.

Dean had followed close behind him and almost ran into Sam, who had stopped almost immediately after entering the room. "Damnit, Sammy, a little warning next time!" he snapped, dropping one of the bags and kicking the door shut.

Sam didn't say anything. He just took a step to the left, allowing Dean to see Aniel, who was standing in the middle of the room watching the two Winchesters with an expressionless face. "Hello, Dean," he said.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked. "How did you even get in here?"

"I am an angel of the Lord," Aniel said, as if that explained everything.

Dean snorted, but didn't comment. "Listen, there's a possible hunt around here. Sam and I are going to stay here for a couple of days and we're going to need to focus on this, so I'd appreciate it if you cleared out."

Aniel tilted his head slightly, the only physical indication that he was confused. "You don't understand. Both of you need to be prepared for the future battles against Lilith. There is no time to track down spirits."

"No, you don't understand," Dean said. "We have a _job_ to do, a job that doesn't involve seals and angels and the fucking apocalypse! Not to mention that we are not going to be running all over the country just because you tell us to!"

Aniel sighed. "Dean, I wasn't planning on having you leave town right away," he said patiently. "There is no way you can learn everything you must if you are constantly moving. However, you also cannot learn everything if you're on a hunt."

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"How about a compromise?" Sam said quickly. "It's Sunday, so we have exactly a week until the next person dies. We get all day tomorrow for research. After that, we get a few hours everyday to continue and the rest of the time is yours."

Aniel thought about it for a moment while Sam discreetly stepped on Dean's foot to keep him from saying anything. "Very well," he finally said. "I will return early on Tuesday." With that, he vanished.

After Aniel left, Dean glared at Sam. "Why the hell did you do that?" he asked.

Sam dumped his duffle on one of the beds and turned to look at his brother. "Because I figured it would be better to stay on his good side until we know what's going on," he said. "And I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep. We have one day to find this spirit, remember."

"Yeah, whatever," Dean said. He was exhausted, but he knew that if he tried to sleep he'd only be woken up in an hour or two because of nightmares. "Listen, I'm starving. Do you want to grab something to eat before you crash?"

Sam shook his head. "No, I'm fine. You head out if you want to, though. I'll take care of the salt lines and everything while you're gone."

Dean nodded and left the room without another word. He opened the door to the Impala and slid in, taking a moment to just relax before putting the key in the ignition. He glanced in his rearview mirror and jumped. There, staring back at him from across the street, was Castiel. Dean quickly looked over his shoulder, but the angel wasn't there anymore.

He slowly turned around, shaking slightly. "Okay, quick food run and then sleep," he muttered as he pulled out of the parking lot. "Because I'm pretty sure that seeing a dead angel twice in one day counts as a hallucination."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Own nothing, but I wish I did.**

**A/N: Here's another chapter for you and so, so, SO sorry for the delay! And is anyone else annoyed that Castiel hasn't been seen for something like twelve weeks? You'd think that the angel really had been killed! ;-)**

"Dean, get up!"

Dean rolled over and burrowed deeper into his blankets, ignoring his brother who was tapping on his shoulder. He had been kept awake by nightmares for most of the night and had only dozed off an hour or two ago. He was by no means willing to get up, not when he was finally sleeping for the first time in a few weeks.

Sam, of course, knew none of this and seemed determined to make sure that Dean was fully awake. With one sharp tug he pulled the top blanket off his brother and flung it across the room.

"Damnit, Sam!" Dean yelled he tried unsuccessfully to grab at the covers that his brother had taken. "Can't you let me sleep in peace!?"

"Not when we only have one day to finish this hunt, no," Sam said. He passed Dean a cup of coffee, which he quickly grabbed, muttering thanks before taking a large gulp. "So I was thinking that you could go and interview the victims' families while I do some research, unless you'd rather spend the day at the library…"

Dean shuddered. "God, no. I'd choke to death on all of that dust before you finished talking to the first family."

Sam laughed. "Figured as much. You should probably head out soon, though, so get up."

"I'm up! I'm up!" Dean said as he grabbed his much-hated suit and began to get ready for the day.

He was sorely tempted to force his brother to walk to the library, but Dean wasn't really that annoyed with Sam. He was simply overtired, like usual, and didn't see the need to take it out on Sam. So he dutifully dropped Sam off at the library before, after a quick glance down at his list, driving to the address of the first victim.

A quick flash of his fake badge- Center for Disease Control this time, since the FBI had already been called in- was all it took, like usual, for the widow to let him into her house.

"I… I don't understand," the poor woman muttered, sinking down onto one of the chairs. "They think that it was a disease?"

"It's a possibility we have to consider," Dean said smoothly, perfectly acting the part. "With the similar deaths in town there is a chance of it being caused by a new virus that we haven't seen before and if that's the case certain protective measures will have to bed taken."

The woman just nodded, clearly dazed by this new turn of events. "What… what do you need to know?"

"Did your husband ever mention seeing people or things that he couldn't explain?" Dean asked.

The woman thought about it for a moment. "There was this one time, a few days before he… changed… that he thought he saw a young boy that seemed to disappear. At the time I was worried, but after everything else I just assumed that that was when he started to lose his mind."

"Do you remember what he said the boy looked like?"

The woman frowned. "I don't see how that's important…" she murmured.

"If the other victims see this same boy than it might be a warning sign," Dean said.

"Oh… of course." She thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I can't remember."

"Well, thank… you…" Dean's voice trailed off and he stared intently out her front window. "Excuse me, I think I see my partner outside."

When he ran out and across the street Sam was nowhere to be seen but he wasn't expecting his brother to be there, though it would have made more sense if Sam was. The person he thought he had seen was dead. "Dead and I'm still seeing him everywhere," Dean muttered darkly. Still, he couldn't help but glance around the street one last time, as if expecting to see a man wearing a tan trench coat suddenly appear.

Dean tried to get through the next interviews as quickly as possibly, his eyes constantly flicking to the window, making him appear on edge and nervous. Still, the interviews went well. Two of the other three victims had mentioned seeing the small boy to their families, which was enough to convince Dean that he was connected to the deaths somehow.

He was on his way back to the motel room, talking to Sam on his phone. "Listen, there are way too many deaths in connection to the institution to narrow it down to just one," his brother was saying.

Dean chuckled. "Lucky for you I managed to get some info out of the families," he said. "Three out of the four victims saw a young boy a couple of days before they started to go crazy."

"I think I remember reading about a young boy earlier." Dean could hear his brother rustling through a stack of papers. "Just give me a minute to find it…"

Dean slammed on his brakes, eyes wide with shock. Standing not five feet from the front of his car was Castiel, though the angel was looking around with a slightly confused look on his face. He didn't seem to be able to see the Impala in front of him. A loud car horn startled him and he glanced behind him. He was holding up a long line of cars, but he couldn't just drive through the angel, dead or not. When he turned back to look at Castiel the angel was gone. He wasted no time in hitting the gas, the car shooting forward as it quickly accelerated.

"Dean? Dean!"

Dean grabbed his phone from where it had fallen when he hit his brakes. His hand shook slightly as he said, "Sam, I'll be at the library in five. Be ready to go then."

"What the hell happened, Dean!?"

"Just find that article and meet me outside," Dean snapped before flipping his phone shut.

He skidded to a halt in the library parking lot a few minutes later. Dean got out of the Impala as Sam made his way over and quickly slid into the passenger's seat. "You drive," he said as he slammed the door.

Sam stared at him for a moment, but got behind the wheel and drove out of the parking lot. "Are you okay?" he asked, glancing over at his brother.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, for one thing you _never_ let me drive," Sam pointed out. "And you also haven't stopped shaking since you arrived at the library! Something is wrong and I want to know what it is."

Dean took a deep breath. He didn't want to tell Sam, he _really_ didn't want to tell Sam. "Can angels become ghosts?" He asked instead.

Sam frowned. "No. I mean, I don't think they can anyway. It's not like there's anything to keep them tied to the Earth." His eyes widened slightly, a look of understanding crossing his face. "Dean, don't tell me-"

"What? That I've been seeing Castiel?" Dean interrupted. He chuckled humorlessly. "Too late, Sammy."

"How long? D'you think it has anything to do with the hunt?"

"If you mean, do I think I'm going to go completely insane and get myself admitted to a mental hospital, no," Dean said. "Started seeing him long before we got here."

Sam took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Okay then. Tell me what's been going on."

Dean found himself telling Sam everything. He explained how he hadn't been sleeping well in recent weeks and how, when he had slammed on his brakes the day before, he had seen Castiel in the town they were driving through. He told Sam how the sightings had become more and more frequent, explaining how he had seen Castiel not only in his rearview mirror the night before, but outside the first victim's house and then just before he had arrived at the library.

"I think I may be hallucinating, Sam," he said, his voice soft and scared. "And I don't know what to do. I _can't_ sleep. I tried taking sleeping pills when I first came back but they didn't stop the nightmares, just kept me from waking up from them."

Sam looked lost and Dean felt guilty for unloading his problems on his brother, but the moment passed and Sam quickly moved into the mindset he usually had on a hunt: look at the possibilities, isolate the problem, and get rid of it. "So what are the possibilities right now?" he asked. "Either you're exhausted to the point of hallucinations, Castiel's a ghost and he's haunting you, this has something to do with the hunt, or…"

"Or Aniel's lying and Castiel's not dead," Dean cut in. "Which leaves us exactly where we were yesterday."

"Okay, well, I think I've found out who the mystery boy is and where he's buried. Let's go out and salt his bones tonight, stay here the week, and if no one else goes insane we know we've got the right guy," Sam said.

"And if I keep seeing Cas then we can eliminate the hunt."

Sam nodded. "Exactly. Meanwhile, you have to find someway to actually get some sleep at night-"

"Easier said than done," Dean muttered.

Sam ignored him and continued. "_If_ you can do that and _if_ you keep seeing Castiel then it all comes down to whether Aniel's lying or not."

Dean sagged back against his seat and sighed. "Lovely," he muttered. "Just freakin' lovely."

XXXXX

Though Sam had pressured his brother to try to get some sleep before the salt and burn later that night, Dean hadn't been asleep more than an hour before being woken by nightmares again. He got up and made his way over to where Sam was sitting with his laptop, no doubt trying to do some last minute research. To his credit, Sam didn't comment on the nightmares, just handed Dean a cup of coffee and showed him some information he had found.

The burn itself was as straightforward as it could be. They only trouble with the spirit for a moment, though one blast from a rocksalt-loaded gun took care of him long enough for them to light the bones on fire.

As Dean stood by the burning grave he tried to feel relieved, since this was the start of figuring out what was going on, but he couldn't, for standing in the shadows of the trees at the edge of the graveyard was the faint outline of a tan trench coat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Only own Aniel, sadly.**

**A/N: So, now we finally get into the heart of things! Hopefully you like this chapter and I'll try to get the other one up soon!**

_Dean could feel the knife cutting into his flesh, slowly slicing off the skin. He couldn't tell whether he was screaming or if he had gone hoarse already but it didn't matter. Something told him that he wasn't actually here, that this was a dream, but he'd been hearing that voice for almost twenty years now. It had been awhile since Dean paid any attention to it. _

"_Dean…"_

_Dean jumped, momentarily distracted from the pain, at the sound of someone calling his name. He didn't recognize the voice, but there wasn't any new demon in the room. _

"_Dean!" He felt a hand grab his shoulder but again there was no one there. He tried to twist away but he was tied down. He couldn't escape, he was trapped, trapped…_

Dean sat up and wrenched his arm away from whoever was grabbing it. He was surprised to see Aniel standing there; he had half expected Sam to have been the one who woke him up. "What are you doing here?" Dean asked as he glanced over at the other bed. He was hurt to see that Sam was still sleeping. He hadn't even _noticed_ what was going on.

"I'm here to start your training," Aniel said.

Dean glanced at the clock and groaned. "Dude, its 6:30 in fucking morning! Can't this wait?"

"If we started any later I would not be able to meet with Sam today at all," Aniel said.

His calm, emotionless voice was really starting to get on Dean's nerves. "What the hell are we even doing?" Dean snapped as he climbed out of bed and dug around in his bag for clean clothes.

"You'll find out later."

Dean snorted, but decided not to press the issue. Five minutes later he was stumbling out of the motel room, desperately wishing for a cup of coffee and trying to remember which pocket he had stuck his car keys in. "Where am I driving to?" he asked as he climbed in, having successfully managed to unlock the Impala.

"There's an abandoned farmhouse about five miles out of town," Aniel said. "Just stay on the main road and, once you leave town, it'll be the first and only turn off on your left."

Dean nodded and automatically switched on his music as he pulled out of the motel parking lot. Aniel grimaced as the sound blasted through the speakers. "Must you listen to this? It can hardly even be considered music!"

"You kidding me? This is the only real music there is!" With that he turned up the volume, grinning at the scowl that was on the angel's otherwise emotionless face.

Dean pulled into a gas station on the edge of town a few minutes later. Aniel glanced sharply at him. "What are you doing?"

"Dude, I am falling asleep at the wheel right now. I am just getting a cup of coffee," Dean said as he climbed out of the car.

"We don't have time for this, Dean!" Aniel yelled, but Dean just kept walking.

A woman was walking out of the store and held the door open for Dean as he jogged over. "Thanks," he said.

"No problem," she said. "That your boyfriend in the car?"

Dean glanced back at Aniel before looking at the woman. He wasn't really upset at the assumption; they didn't look similar enough to be related and Aniel _was_ acting like a sulking boyfriend. "No ma'am," he said. "But I wish he was."

She frowned. "And why's that?"

"Because then I dump his ass on the side of the road without feeling guilty."

The woman laughed and Dean flashed her a quick smile as he slipped past her and went inside.

Aniel glared at him when he returned a few minutes later, but if he knew of the conversation Dean had had he didn't show it. The car ride out to the abandoned farm was silent, save for the blasting music that Dean had left on. He drove past a few abandoned houses and finally turned onto the small dirt road that Aniel pointed out. Dust was thrown into the air as the Impala drove down the barely-used road and Dean scowled as it settled on the car, knowing that "his baby" would have to be washed later.

Dean pulled up in front a dilapidated, old building. He eyed it warily as he got of the Impala, convinced that it would fall down around them the moment they tried to open the doors. Still, Aniel seemed convinced that this was the best place to train and Dean had no choice but to follow him inside.

Though the barn smelled musty and patches of the roof and walls were missing it didn't seem that unstable from the inside. What Dean was most worried about now were the rusty farm tools that were lying haphazardly on the floor. If Aniel was up to something, as Sam seemed to think he was, he wouldn't put it past him to "accidentally" push him onto an old scythe.

"Over here, Dean," Aniel called from the other side of the barn. To Dean's surprise he was sitting on an old bale of hay and showed no signs of getting up to start training him for the war.

"What's going on?" he asked as he joined the angel. "What happened to training?"

"Dean, you are going to help us with the war… but it's not by fighting for us," Aniel said.

Dean frowned. "Then what the hell am I doing here?"

"We have reason to believe that while Castiel was in hell the demons may have gotten information out of him," Aniel said carefully. "Information on our strategies and plans. This gives them a huge advantage over us in the war. Dean, you've been in hell. You know their methods, you know how they work- and we need that information."

"No," Dean said. "No way. There is no fucking way I'm going to sit here and spill everything I went through in hell to you. I haven't even told Sammy most of it! I don't even _remember_ most of it! It's just vague ideas and feelings and-"

Dean stopped suddenly, stood up, and started to pace. He was shaking, though whether from fear or anger he didn't know. He was furious that Aniel would have the nerve to just sit there and expect him to start talking, yes, but the memories had started to creep back into his consciousness, filling his body with that all-too-familiar feeling of dread.

"Dean, I'm not asking you to tell me everything today," Aniel said softly. "But we do need this information. If we had had this information earlier we might have been able to save Castiel. As it is, we can more of my brothers that are captured if you tell us what you know."

Dean took a deep breath. If he started talking now, nothing would stop him from breaking down completely and he had too much pride to start crying in front of a freakin' angel. On the other hand- _We might have been able to save Castiel-_ he didn't want anymore blood on his hands.

"What do you need to know?"

XXXXX

Sam sat up, blinking against the ray of bright sunlight that streamed into the room through the crack between the shades. He glanced over at the other bed and froze. Dean wasn't there. He stumbled out of bed and over to the front windows, grabbing blindly at the shade and pulling it back. The Impala was gone. Sam sank down onto a nearby chair, taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart. Dean probably just went out for a moment to grab food or something. He was fine. Everything was just _fine_.

Sam knew that Dean was having a hard time adjusting to life after his time in hell, but to be honest, so was he. He felt like an overprotective mother watching out for a small child; every time Dean vanished without a warning, even for only a minute or so, he panicked. Part of him kept expecting Dean to disappear on him, or that he'd wake up and find out that everything was dream and his brother was still in hell. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he just couldn't help it.

A small piece of paper sitting on the table between the two beds caught his attention and he picked it up, scanning it over quickly. He let out a shaky laugh. Dean had left him a note right on top of his cell phone, a place where he should've seen it right away, if he hadn't instantly assumed the worst. He read it again, grinning at how his brother's personality managed to shine through, even in writing.

_Sammy-_

_Lovely freakin' morning, isn't it? The angel showed up and dragged my ass out of bed at 6:30, so if you wake up and I'm not there, that's why. At least the bastard knew which one of us needed the beauty sleep the most. We'll be back at some point this afternoon, then you get to start training with him, you lucky dog._

_Keep an eye out for any signs that the kid didn't get completely torched last night and if you think about it, give Bobby a call and ask him what he knows about hallucinations._

_-Dean_

Sam glanced at the clock. It was late enough to give Bobby a call before he headed out to grab something to eat. He quickly dialed Bobby's number and waited for their friend to pick up.

_This is Robert Singer, if you're calling about…_

Sam frowned. It was a rare occurrence that Bobby didn't pick up his phone, but it wasn't completely unheard of, and there was no reason why he couldn't just leave him a message. "Hey, Bobby, it's Sam. Listen, a new angel was just assigned to us a few days ago and he claims that Castiel's dead. The thing is, Dean's seen Cas several times since then and we're thinking he's hallucinating due to lack of sleep, though we haven't ruled out other possibilities. If you know of anything that could help, just give me a call."

Sam sighed. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but without Dean there and with Bobby not answering his phone, he felt more alone than he had in a long time.

XXXXX

Sam heard the lock turn in the door to the motel room and looked up from his laptop in time to see Dean and Aniel walk through the door. "About time you got back," Sam said. Dean didn't reply, just flopped down on his bed and groaned. Sam chuckled. "Rough practice session?"

"You have no fucking idea."

Sam frowned. There was something about his voice that didn't sit well with him, but Aniel was already motioning for him to follow him out the door. "Dean, I gotta run. You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, of course," Dean said. He held up the keys to the Impala, not bothering to even get up.

"If you say so," Sam said as he snatched the keys and followed Aniel outside, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he turned on the Impala.

"Center of town," Aniel said. "There's an abandoned house right on the outskirts of town that we can go to, probably less than a mile out of town."

Sam nodded and, with Aniel directing, found the house in no time at all. He drove around behind it so the car wouldn't be visible from the road and parked. The house itself didn't look like it was in bad condition at all, but he was worried about what condition the inside of the house was in.

Aniel had already gotten out of the car and vanished inside the house. Sam quickly got out, locked the car, and jogged over to catch up with the angel. Though it was dark, damp, and dusty inside, the building didn't look like it was about to fall down, for which Sam was very thankful. However, when he walked into what was once a living room, he stopped short. In the center of the room, bound tightly to a chair and imprisoned in a Devil's Trap, was a demon. Black eyes, holy water burns- the whole shebang.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam asked, his eyes never leaving the demon.

"Sam, we know that Castiel had told your brother that you cannot use your powers, but we do not believe that is the correct path anymore," Aniel said. "Your powers are a huge asset for us; we cannot afford to waste them."

"So what? You're just going to start allowing me to use them? You're going to teach me how to use my _demon_ powers?"

Aniel frowned slightly. "If you do not want to, I will not force you to," he said. "I thought this was what you wanted, but if I was mistaken…"

Sam took a deep breath. This was what he wanted. More than anything, this was what he wanted. Finally, a chance to use his powers for good, like he always wanted to do. "No, no, it's not that," he said. "It was just a shock, that's all…"

Aniel nodded. "I'm afraid, however, that I do not know much about how these powers work," he said. "Please, show me."

Sam took a step towards the demon, sizing him up for a moment, before holding up his hand and beginning to force the demon out.

XXXXX

Dean glanced up from the TV as his brother stumbled into the room. "Rough practice session?" he said with a grin.

"Huh? Yeah, yeah…" There was something about his voice that made Dean frown, but Sam continued talking. "Anyway, you didn't tell me before. What did he have you do?"

Dean hesitated. He didn't want Sam to know that he had told Aniel things that he hadn't told him. He didn't want Sam to know how he had broken down at the end because the memories were still affecting him so much. "Just some new hand-to-hand combat techniques," he lied. "You?"

Sam knew he couldn't tell Dean the truth. Dean would never understand why the angels wanted him to use his powers now. "Same," he said.

XXXXX

Bobby replayed the message on his answering machine. It was very distorted; he could barely make out what was said. "…it's Sam… angel… Castiel's dead… Dean… several times… hallucinating… give me a call."

The problem was Bobby had called him back. Several times, in fact, but he hadn't picked up. He had even left a message almost nine hours earlier and Sam hadn't called back. Even if they were on a hunt, that was not like any of the Winchesters at all. Something was up- he just didn't know what.

He heard a knock on his door and sighed, but got up and opened it up. "What the hell do you want?" he growled.

Ruby pushed past him and into the house. "Something's up with the Winchesters," she said. "And I need your help."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! I've been swamped with work, plus I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go with this chapter. But its spring break now so hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter up quicker!**

The ceiling had been looking progressively more hideous as the night wore on. Dean had tried rolling over on his side, but then he had to either look at the moldy wallpaper, which was never high on his list of things to do, or at Sam, and he'd prefer to avoid watching someone else sleep when he couldn't. Now it was nearly dawn and he still hadn't gotten any sleep.

Dean sighed and climbed out of bed quietly. He grabbed his jacket off the back of one of the chairs, but before he could unlock the door to the room a soft voice said, "You cannot leave the room."

Dean jumped and spun around. "What the hell are you doing here?" He hissed.

"Making sure that you don't leave the room," Aniel said.

"And why can't I leave the room?" Aniel hesitated for a moment. "After all you put me through yesterday you can't just refuse to tell me what's going on!" Dean said angrily.

Aniel sighed. "We have reason to believe that Lilith has sent several demons to this area to look for you. The motel room is protected and, unless you're with me, you should not leave."

Dean sighed. He was still emotionally and physically drained from the day before. He couldn't even think of a snappy or witty comment in response to Aniel. "We aren't… I mean, are we going to…"

"Go back to the farmhouse today?" Aniel supplied. Dean nodded. "I'm afraid we have to, Dean. The information that we got from you yesterday alone was more than we had gotten in the past month! Think of how much you could help us in just a day! Two days! Every time you recall a new memory it puts us ahead of them!"

Dean flinched as Aniel spoke, his voice becoming slightly louder and taking on a slightly crazed tone. For a moment he seemed less angelic and more… evil. Corrupt. Then, almost as quickly, he seemed to snap back to the "normal" angel behavior Dean was used to.

"If you prefer, however, I will meet with Sam first today," Aniel offered.

Dean was thrown off slightly by the offer, but only momentarily. "No, that wouldn't be fair to him," he said. "Just… can we start a little bit later today? Just give me an hour or so before coming back?"

Aniel nodded. "Very well," he said before vanishing.

Dean paused for a moment, as if making sure that the angel was truly gone, before walking back over to the door, opening it, and leaving the motel room. He knew he wouldn't have been able to explain it to Aniel, but he _needed_ to see something other than his crappy motel room.

The stretch of road that the motel was on was quiet. The sun was just starting to come up and the lights of the town in the distance were still visible. Dean took a deep breath, closing his eyes and allowing himself to relax for a moment. When he opened them he started slightly, for across the road from him was the all-too familiar sight of Castiel.

Without thinking Dean jogged across the road towards Castiel. He was getting sick of seeing the angel everywhere and intended to figure out what was going on once and for all.

Castiel didn't move as Dean approached. "Hey, Cas! Mind telling me what's going on?" The angel didn't seem to notice. "Castiel?" No reaction. "Castiel!" He pushed once, hard, on the angel's shoulders.

Castiel stumbled back a few steps, his eyes widening in shock. "Who's there?" He called. "Show yourself!"

Dean stared at the angel. "Cas, I'm right here!"

"Show yourself!" Castiel repeated. His eyes were narrowed and he was cautiously looking around, as if expecting someone to attack at any moment. "This is your last warning! Show yourself now!"

"I'm standing right in front of you!" Dean yelled.

Castiel nodded slowly and for a moment Dean thought that he had finally gotten through to him. "Very well," the angel said. "I warned you." He began to glow, softly at first but then brighter and brighter. Dean realized suddenly what was going to happen and hit the ground, shielding his eyes with his arms as Castiel blazed with a fiercely bright light.

The light finally dimmed and Dean looked up slowly. Castiel was still there; still looking as perfect and unruffled as ever, save for the confused look on his face. "Something is not right here," he murmured to himself, before turning on his heel and disappearing.

"You got that right, Cas," Dean said, his voice seeming to echo loudly in the now-vacant field. "Something is definitely not right here."

Dean raced back to the motel room, slamming the door shut behind him and ignoring the groan of protest from his brother. "Hey, Sammy, get up," he said as he pulled the covers off of Sam.

"Dean? What the hell!" Sam reached out for his cell phone and looked at the time. "Dude, it's five in the fucking morning!"

"Sam, just listen to me for ten minutes and you can go back to sleep if you want," Dean said. "Listen, I just talked to Aniel. He said that Lilith has sent demons to the area. We're supposed to stay in the motel room for protection."

Sam blinked tiredly at him. "You woke me up to tell me not to leave the motel? I think if I was still sleeping you wouldn't have to worry about me leaving."

"Will you just shut up and let me finish talking?" Dean snapped.

Sam stared at his brother. "What's your problem?"

"My problem is that I saw Castiel again! I went over and tried to talk to him-"

"You what?" Sam interrupted.

Dean ignored him and continued. "Sam, it was like he didn't even see me standing there! If it was one of the demons that Aniel was talking about, he would've noticed me, but Cas didn't! I pushed him and he started demanding that whoever was there "show themselves". Sam, he tried to blind me!" Dean sank down on his bed. "Something's wrong here, Sam, and I don't know what."

"Okay, well, if you really did see Castiel-"

Sam was cut off as the door opened and Aniel walked in. "Dean, did you leave the motel room?" He asked sharply.

Dean frowned. "And what if I did?"

"I heard you mention demons to Sam," Aniel said. "If you saw one while you were outside I need to know."

"Wait, you were listening to our conversation?" Sam said incredulously. "You have no right-"

"Sam, I am trying to protect you two. I can only do that if I have complete surveillance of this room," Aniel said evenly. "Dean, I repeat. Did you see a demon?"

Dean shook his head. "No. I thought I did, but there wasn't anything there. I came back in and warned Sam too, though, just so he'd know what was going on."

If Aniel noticed the lie he didn't comment on it. "Very well. Next time, listen to me, please. I'll be back in half an hour so we can work on training some more." He vanished.

"Cas would've known instantly that I was-"

"Dean!" Sam said. "Didn't you want to work on writing coded notes?" He grabbed the pad of paper next to the phone and scribbled, _Surveillance, remember?_

Dean groaned, but snatched the paper from his brother. "If you insist." _Fine. What's going on, though?_

Sam started up his laptop before grabbing the pad of paper back from Dean. _If you did, then, and I can't believe I'm saying this, it probably was Cas. I mean, according to Aniel his host's body was destroyed, so unless the demons are working with shapeshifters now there's no way a corporeal person could look like Castiel but not be him_, he wrote quickly.

_But that means that Aniel lied to_ _us,_ Dean pointed out. "Your handwriting sucks," he added.

"Screw you." Sam opened a Word Document and typed, _Dean, we don't even know if Aniel really is an angel. I mean, we haven't exactly seen any proof that he's anything other than a really powerful demon. _"That better?"

"Much." _What are we going to do? It's not like we can try to leave the motel and evade him. He'd probably just find us again._ He stood up and stretched. _I'm going to have to go off to work with Aniel some more soon. _"You call Bobby while I'm gone." Dean was pretty confident that a simple sentence like that wouldn't grab Aniel's attention.

"I called him yesterday and left a message," Sam said. "He hasn't gotten back to me yet, though."

Dean frowned. "That's not like him. Try calling him back."

"I will… hang on." Sam flipped open his phone and pushed a couple of buttons. "I have a voicemail from yesterday."

"I didn't think you ever turned your phone off."

"I don't," Sam said. He listened to the voicemail, a frown slowly spreading across his face. "Dean, you're going to want to listen to this. I think its Bobby."

"You think? What, you don't know what the guy sounds like by now?" Dean joked as he snatched the phone from his brother. The voice on the other end was Bobby's, but the message made little sense.

_Sam, call… your message… EMF… couldn't under… What's wrong?_

Sam said as he took his phone back. "I'll try to clean it up while you're gone. There's some pretty bad static on that, but whatever Bobby wanted might be important." He typed, as an afterthought, _I think it's just EMF static, but it might be a voice. I'll check for EVP._

Dean nodded. "Good idea. Call Bobby back too. Hopefully he'll get your message and know that we're alright." _Either way, we're screwed. With this surveillance there's no way we can get away from Aniel if he is a demon. _

XXXXX

"What do you mean, the boys are in trouble?" Bobby asked as he closed the door behind Ruby. "I just got a call from Sam earlier today." He wasn't going to mention his own suspicions to the demon unless he had to.

"Really? Let me guess. You didn't hear the phone ring and the voicemail was loaded with static, probably caused by EMF," Ruby said.

Bobby stared at her. "How'd you know?"

"Because I can't get a fix on his location. Something's blocking them- something demonic. I can't even locate their fucking car, Bobby! There's a powerful demon involved in this, but no one knows anything. They have to be under surveillance constantly, but they haven't been captured or attacked yet. I would've heard something if they had."

Bobby sighed. He knew that those two had a nasty habit of getting into the worst situations, but this one was really something. "What do I do?" He asked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I only own Aniel. And a Sam plushie, but that doesn't count…**

**A/N: [insert apologies for lateness here] Does that cover it?**

Dean pressed his back against the wall and slowly sank down to the floor. He was alone in the motel room, Sam having already left with Aniel, but even so he refused to let himself break down completely. Hadn't he been drilled his entire life to not show fear and to keep everything together? Fear was only a weapon that your enemy could use against you. If you let down your guard for even one second you'd be killed. These were lessons that had been memorized at home and reinforced in the field. They were never thrown aside, not even in the privacy of a locked motel room.

Still, for once Dean wished that he could let go of those instincts. Aniel hadn't let up on him during their "training sessions" and the memories that he was forced to remember just kept getting worse and worse. Dean had a sinking feeling that Aniel was _enjoying_ his suffering, which only made everything worse since Dean couldn't exactly try to kill him. Not until they knew what they were up against.

"Damnit," Dean muttered. He was supposed to be doing research. Here he was, in the middle of the closest thing to a breakdown that Dean Winchester was capable of, and he was supposed to attempt to do research. And try, once again, to get in touch with Bobby, all without setting off any of Aniel's "protections".

"You just had to leave this to me, didn't you, Sammy?" Dean sighed, but stood up and made his way over to his brother's laptop. "What the hell am I supposed to look up anyway?"

Dean drummed his fingers on the table, eyes staring blankly at the screen. There was a reason that Sam usually did all of the research. Dean just wasn't good at this sort of thing. "Screw Aniel and screw the research. I'm not staying here." With that, Dean grabbed his jacket and left the motel room, locking the door carefully behind him.

"Cas? Are you here?" Dean called out as he began to wander down the road and out of town. He strained his ears, trying to hear the familiar quiet rustling of wings that announced the angel's arrival, but all was silent. "Castiel, if you can hear me, I really need some help."

Dean paused, thinking that he had heard something, but no one was there. "I don't trust people, Cas," he said suddenly. "I know you think I do- hell, everyone thinks I do- but I don't. Dad and Sam… that's not blind faith. I know, or knew, I can rely on them when the going gets tough.

"But you're different, Castiel. I was dragged out of hell to help you in the war and I knew that from the start, but I still trusted you. It was a wary, cautious trust, but it was still there. Later I learned that my trust wasn't misplaced, or at least, I don't think it was. I need to know that you're alive, that I'm not imaging things. I need to know what to do now, because I'm at the end, Cas, and I don't know how much more of this I can take." He took a deep breath. "Please, don't tell me I misplaced my trust in you. Just let me know that you're listening. Please."

There was another reason you didn't let your guard down. If you did, you risked getting hurt even more, your wishes and dreams shattered, your hope lost. Even if you knew that what you were asking for was improbable and out of your reach, it still felt like a knife to the heart when it didn't appear.

Dean hadn't been taught this at home, but he was quickly learning it in the field.

XXXXX

"Again."

"Again."

"Again."

Sam gritted his teeth and did his best to ignore Aniel. The angel had it easy. He probably never had to work to perfect an evil power while trying not to turn into some sort of demonic creature. Newsflash: You can't have both. It's either keep the power and becoming a demon, or no power but remaining human. Sam was almost positive that Aniel knew this, but just didn't care.

He was seriously starting to wonder why he had ever had faith in angels.

After all, all they did was swoop in, fuck up your life, and vanish for months at a time. Except for this one. Aniel had yet to reach the part where he left the Winchesters alone.

"Again."

"Will you please shut up?" Sam growled through clenched teeth.

"Sam, you know how important this is," Aniel said. "You must learn to master this power! Try again!"

Sam held out his hand again and focused on the demon that was restrained in front of him. This was the most powerful demon he had tried to exorcise yet and it was turning out to be much harder than Sam had originally thought it would be. The demon writhed and struggled against his bonds, his head thrashing from side to side and shrieking in pain. Black smoke began to trickle out of his eyes and mouth and Sam strained to finish the exorcism, but he just couldn't do it. Sam collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily, the demon still very much in control of the body it was possessing.

"Pathetic," Aniel scoffed. Sam couldn't even find the energy to look up as Aniel walked forward and the demon began screaming again. A few seconds later and it went quiet, the demon presumably dead.

Aniel moved to stand in front of Sam, who struggled to stand up. He would not kneel at Aniel's feet, even if he was completely drained of energy. "What now?" He asked as he leaned against an old table.

"Now you can return to your motel room. We are finished for the night. Tomorrow, we'll-" Aniel stopped suddenly, his eyes wide but unseeing. "I told him not to leave…" The sentence sounded almost like a snarl, but before Sam could say anything Aniel had vanished.

XXXXX

"I told you not to leave the motel room! Don't you understand that Lilith has demons prowling the city looking for you?"

"Dude, it was only for a few minutes and there wasn't anyone around!" Dean protested.

"But you don't know who saw you," Aniel reminded him. "Or if they now know where you and your brother are staying."

The door to the motel opened and Sam burst in. "What the hell is going on?" He asked.

"Your brother left the motel room and put both of you in jeopardy," Aniel said, his eyes flicking over to Sam before settling on Dean's face again. Both brothers could tell that the angel was at his breaking point. "Neither of you are going to willingly stay in here when I'm not with you, so you leave me no other choice."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Dean yelled.

Aniel ignored him and walked over to the door. He traced a few symbols in the air in front of it, muttering under his breath, before walking out and pulling it shut behind him. Sam wrenched the door open and tried to follow Aniel, but something was blocking his path. "What the fuck?" he muttered as he carefully reached out towards the doorway. "It feels like there's a solid wall here!"

Dean frowned and tried to walk out of the room as well. Instead, he found himself walking into something solid, yet invisible. "The bastard sealed us in here!"

"I know that, Dean," Sam snaps as he walks away from the door.

"Don't bitch at me, I'm not the one that sealed the door!"

"No, you're just the reason Aniel decided to!"

Dean stared at him. "You're blaming me for this? Not the fact that Aniel is a-"

"Dude, shut up!" Sam interrupted. "Did you forget what he said before?" He rolled his eyes, grabbed a pile of clothes from his bag, and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Dean slammed the door to their room shut. "Goddamnit!"

XXXXX

"You are insane," Bobby muttered as he sets the last candle in place. "Completely, out-of-your-head insane."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Please. Castiel has yet to kill either of the boys and it's a well-known fact that the angels need Dean alive anyway."

"I know that!" Bobby snapped. "But your kind don't exactly get along well with them, and I don't want to have anything to do with the angels if I can help it."

"Just complete the damn ritual, Singer, if you want to find Sam and Dean."

Bobby scowled, but carefully completed the ritual that he had used when Dean first needed to get in contact with Castiel. And then they waited, demon leaning up against the doorframe and hunter sitting on the edge of the chair, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

The wind began to slowly pick up outside the house and Bobby lifted his head to gaze at the door. Though she didn't move, Ruby too knew that he was on his way, determined to make as grand an entrance as he did the first time he showed up.

The front door suddenly blew open and Castiel entered. He glared at Ruby, who returned the cool gaze, before facing Bobby. "This is about the Winchesters, isn't it?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I only own Aniel. Though I'd be willing to sell him to the highest bidder…**

**A/N: Wow, I don't know what it is, but I'm really psyched about working on this story. This chapter just came so easily, especially the beginning. Hope you like it!**

Dean sat up, breathing heavily, his eyes wide as he strained to see through the darkness. Part of him knew that he was lying on a motel bed, not Alastair's slicing-table, and that those were only the blankets and not ropes. Part of him knew that it was only night and he was not in hell, but none of that made any difference. Dean was in the middle of full-fledge panic mode and no amount of self-reasoning was going to change that.

Dean quietly climbed out of bed. He needed to get outside _now_ or things were going to get really ugly really fast.

He grabbed his jacket and quickly threw it on as he pulled open the motel room door, not even slowing down as he took that first step out the door. It wasn't until he was already in motion that he remembered what Aniel had done to their motel room the night before. Dean bounced off the invisible wall and stumbled backwards before tripping over something lying on the floor and falling down.

There was a rustling sound, somewhere in the dark reaches of the room, and despite his attempts to remain calm Dean's heart began to race. There couldn't be a hell hound or a demon or anything else like that in the room… could there? He jumped slightly as a loud thump echoed in the room. He stood, shakily to his feet, and tried to feel for the light switch, but he couldn't find it. He frantically brushed his hand against the wall, stumbling forward and knocking something off the table in his frenzy.

There was a muffled groan and the sound of something shifting, and Dean flung himself back from the noise. He found himself trapped in a corner and he sank down to the ground, curling in on himself, eyes screwed shut and hands firmly over his ears as he tried to block out the noise of whatever was in the room moving closer, and closer, and closer…

"Dean?"

Even through his closed eyes Dean could tell that someone had turned on the light. He carefully cracked open an eye and started when he saw his brother kneeling down in front of him. "Jesus Christ, Sammy, trying to give me a friggin' heartattack?"

"Dean, are you okay?"

Dean didn't answer him. They both knew the answer already. He wasn't okay, not by a long shot. Sam had officially seen him at his weakest. In Dean's mind, being caught curled up in a ball in the corner was far worse than dying or confessing what he had done in hell. "Fucking angel," he muttered.

"What?" Sam asked. He didn't want to rush his brother, but Dean was starting to scare him. He had been freaked out when he first saw Dean curled up in a ball in the corner. Dean was the strong one, the one who didn't show any emotions, and as selfish as it may have been Sam didn't like that illusion shattered. He couldn't see how Aniel played into any of this, unless… "Dean, what has Aniel been having you do?"

"Nothing." Sam could tell that the answer was purely instinctual. It was the same answer that he would've given, if Dean had asked him.

_Now, Sam, you don't want Dean to know about this, right? If he asks, just lie to him. You know how he feels about your powers; it'll hurt worse to tell him the truth._

Had Aniel been feeding similar lines to his brother?

Sam sighed. If he wanted Dean to talk, he would have to go about this a different way. "Dean, I've been lying to you for the past week," he said hesitantly.

That got a reaction out of his brother. "What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked as he sat up.

"I mean, when I've been with Aniel, I haven't exactly been working on hand-to-hand combat techniques."

"Aw, damnit, don't tell me you've developed a thing for the angel. I know you're a bit of a girl, but he's not that hot, Sammy…"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dude, will you cut the crap for one minute? I mean I haven't been working on hand-to-hand fighting and I haven't told you the truth because Aniel told me I shouldn't."

"Then why are you telling me this now?" Dean knew exactly why Sam was telling him this now. He was hoping that if he spilled his secret, Dean would do the same. _You're in for one hell of a surprise, Sammy, 'cause I ain't talking. Nothing you're doing could be worse than what he's put me through._

"Because I don't want to lie to you anymore."

_You're a shitty liar. _"So what's the huge secret then?" Dean asked.

"He's been having me work on my powers," Sam said as nonchalantly as possible.

"What!?" Dean yelled. "Why the hell would he be having you do that? What about what Cas said, with the dangers that come along with using those powers? Why the hell are you even listening to him?"

"Why are you listening to him?" Sam countered.

_Because if I had talked earlier it might have saved Cas. Because if I don't talk he yells and reminds me that more people are going to die. Because if I told you, you would freak out and be hurt that I didn't tell you first. _

The only thing Dean said was, "I'm not."

"Dean…"

"What do you want me to say? Huh? Do you want me to break down and spill everything that's been going on, because that's not going to happen, Sammy, so just shut the hell up and leave me alone!"

Sam stared at him in shock, but before he could gather his thoughts to come up with a comeback, the door to the motel room burst open. "Dean, it's time for you to come with me," Aniel said. "If you would just wait outside while I talked to Sam…"

"No," Dean said. "I'm not leaving." He knew that something wasn't right and he wasn't going to walk out of the room and leave his brother behind.

Aniel grabbed Dean's arm and began to drag him towards the door. Dean struggled, but the angel was stronger than he looked.

"Leave him alone!" Sam yelled, but as soon as he took a step forward Aniel turned his head to look at Sam, who found himself almost instantly pinned the motel room wall.

"Sammy? Sammy!" Dean yelled as Aniel shoved him out the door. "You son of a bitch, let me back in!"

"Sorry, Dean, but you just don't meet our criteria for this," Aniel said. "Only a human with demon blood can break the seal." His eyes turned white, like Lilith's and Alastair's, and Dean instinctively took a step back. It was one thing to suspect that Aniel had been a demon and another thing to know that he was.

"Don't worry," Aniel continued. "It'll all be over in twenty four hours. You can come to claim the body then."

The door slammed shut just as Dean launched himself at it. "Sammy? Sammy!" He yelled as he beat his fists on the door, but there was no response.

Dean forced himself to calm down, to think clearly. They needed Sam for a seal, which meant that they needed to follow a specific ritual, which meant that most likely Sam did have twenty four hours left to live. That was both a good thing and a bad thing. On the one hand it gave him time to come up with a plan, but he didn't have any time to waste.

He quickly did the math in his head and figured that it would take him six hours to get to Bobby's if he ignored the entire concept of a speed limit. That would only give them twelve hours to come up with a plan before they needed to head back here, less actually, since they would need time to put their plan into action.

Dean grabbed his keys from his coat pocket, thankful that he hadn't had time to take it off, and got into his car. He needed to leave now; there was no time left to waste.

XXXXX

Bobby frowned as the headlights from a car shown in through his front window. "Who the hell would be coming here this late?" he muttered as he got up from the book he had been looking through.

Castiel had explained how the angels had suspected that the demons were getting Sam to use his powers so he could break a seal for them, and how he couldn't sense Dean at all due to some demonic presence. All of it matched up with what Ruby had already said, except for the bit about the seal.

Bobby had been deep in research, with minimal help from Ruby, while Castiel tried to get word from his fellow angels, when the car showed up. Before Bobby had reached the front door, though, it swung open and Dean staggered inside.

"Dean? What the hell is going on?" Bobby asked as he lead Dean over to one of the chairs before he collapsed.

Ruby looked over at Bobby and frowned. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"What, gone blind or something? Dean's here, ya idjit," Bobby said.

"I don't see anything, but something reeks of demon magic," Ruby told him.

"What the hell? I'm right here!" Dean yelled.

"I know that, Dean, but whatever spell you have on you is still around," Bobby told him.

"Now what are you talking about? What spell?"

Castiel snapped out of the trance-like state he was in and looked over at Bobby as well. "Dean is here? Now? Are you sure? What about Sam?"

Dean stared at the angel. He had begun to guess that Castiel wasn't dead, but he hadn't been sure, not entirely. Not until know. He stood up, shakily, and walked over to stand in front of Castiel. "Cas? C'mon, please tell me you can see me!" Cas didn't seem to notice him, so he grabbed the angel's arm.

Castiel tensed and looked down at where Dean was holding him, a faint smile briefly flickering across his face. "Dean _is_ here."

It wasn't a question.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable character. Obviously.**

**A/N: So sorry for the delay! Real life has been hectic, to put things lightly. I'll try to update quicker next time, which shouldn't be too hard since the next chapter will be the last. Also, I was watching videos from past conventions where Misha talks about how Castiel can't fight and it was **_**so**_** hard not to have Dean comment about that in this, LOL!**

Dean felt like the proverbial third wheel, despite the fact that there were four of them in the room. After he had finished explaining what had happened to the others, Castiel had begun questioning him about the Aniel. Using Bobby as a translator, so to speak, he had managed to tell the angel everything he knew about the demon. Ruby had then added her own knowledge and the two of them quickly laid out everything they knew about the seal and the ritual that would have to happen. While the two of them debated the pros and cons of various ways to stop the ritual, Bobby kept them in line and reminded them that the plan had to be practical.

Dean couldn't talk to Ruby or Castiel directly, not with the damn curse, or whatever it was, on him. The curse couldn't even be removed until Aniel was either dead or back in hell so his power was at least severely weakened, a condition that Ruby had informed him of with a bit too much happiness for his liking.

It wasn't the lack of communication that was bothering him; the real problem was that he felt like he couldn't give any input to the rescue plan. _His_ brother's life was hanging in the balance, not Bobby's or Ruby's or Castiel's. He wanted to know and be involved with every detail of the planning process, not sit on the sidelines and do nothing.

"Damnit, Ruby!" Bobby suddenly yelled, startling Dean out of his thoughts. "Would've been nice to know that a couple of hours ago!"

"What would've been nice?" Dean asked as he set down the book he had been idly leafing through and made his way over to the group. "Bobby, what's going on?"

Bobby looked over at him quickly, almost as if he had forgotten that he was there, and said, "Ruby doesn't think that Castiel or she will be able to enter the town while the seal's being broken."

"Not think, I _know_ we're not going to be able to," Ruby interrupted. "As soon as Dean left, they probably sealed the place off against angels. After all the demons they need are inside the town, they'll add extra protections to keep other demons out. That means no me, and no him." She pointed to Castiel.

"So what you're saying is that Bobby and I are going to be the only ones who can go in there?" Dean asked. No one answered, having all gone back to the planning. "Goddamnit, someone say something! Is there anyway to get the two of you in there or are we doing this alone?"

Bobby sighed and looked up from his book again. "Dean wants to know if there's anyway to get you two inside," he said wearily.

"There are ways to break the spells used to keep us out of town." Dean jumped when Castiel started talking. He knew the angel wasn't actually dead, but it was still a shock to actual hear and see him. "The process will be time consuming, though. You'll have to decide whether you should risk losing time to get us inside, or simply fight them yourselves."

Dean nods, forgetting for a moment that the angel can't see him even though Castiel had seemed to be looking straight at him when he was talking. "Right. Bobby, what would you rather do?"

"I'd much rather have them in there with us, but we don't even know how many demons are there for the ritual," Bobby said. "For all we know we could end up wasting too much time when we didn't even need them at all."

"You thinking of a stealth approach then? The two of us go in, Ruby and Cas are waiting just outside the city, and if we need them we go back and let them in?"

Bobby nodded. "It would make the most sense, and that way we have backup if we need it."

"Do you guys have a plan of attack for this thing yet?" Dean asked.

"We're working on it, but it's hard to come up with something if we're not sure what they're doing and 'go in, kill everything' may work but it could end badly for us."

Dean sighed and flopped down in his chair again. "We have less than two hours to figure everything out if we need to drive back, more if those two can transport us there. We need to come up with something, Bobby, and fast."

XXXXX

Sam was used to being caught between the proverbial rock and hard place, but unlike the other times he had no plan of action. The demons were holding him in some sort of abandoned basement. No exits except up through the rest of the house and at least three demons were standing guard at the door. Had he still been unbound, he might have been able to drive one or two of the demons out of the bodies they were possessing, but as it was he stood no chance against them.

He didn't know how long he had been down there. He had been knocked out not long after Aniel, or whatever his real name was, had thrown Dean out of the motel room. When he woke up he was already down in the basement, with no idea how long he had been out or what had happened during that time.

At first, he had tried to think of some way out of his current predicament but he had given up on that awhile ago, once he realized that there wasn't really any way for him to escape. He was hoping that Dean had, for some reason, had the keys to the Impala on him and had managed to get hope. Sam knew that the chances of that happening were slim, but it was the only thing that would save him now.

After what felt like hours, and probably was, Aniel came down to the basement with two other demons. "Hello Sam," he said. "Enjoying your stay?"

"Go to hell," Sam snarled.

Aniel laughed. "That is a really pathetic comeback to use on a demon." He nodded to the other two demons. They each grabbed one of Sam's arms and, despite his struggling, dragged him up the stairs and into one of the other rooms of the house.

Sam saw only a brief glimpse of the room before he was slammed down onto the floor but he could tell that it was already set up for whatever ritual they needed to do to break the seal. The ropes that had been tied around his wrists were cut and he felt his arms pinned to the ground by some supernatural force. He heard, rather than saw, the rest of the demons slowly file into the room. He lifted his head as far as he could and saw that they seemed to be standing in a circle around him.

"It's show time, Sammy," Aniel said as he moved towards the younger Winchester and crouched down in front of him.

Sam said nothing, except for a muttered, "It's Sam, you son of a bitch."

Aniel laughed. "Pretty soon it won't matter what it is." He pushed Sam's head back down and stood up.

Low chanting soon filled the room and though Sam couldn't tell what was being said he felt chills going up his spine at the sound. One of the demons, probably Aniel, was moving around the room, though Sam couldn't see what he was doing. _Now would be a really good time to show up, Dean…_ he thought desperately.

Aniel crouched down in front of him again, a knife held loosely in his hand. He smirked at Sam, before raising the blade. Two gunshots echoed in the room and Aniel stood up, quickly spinning around.

"Get away from my brother."

XXXXX

"Damnit, Bobby, I can't see anything," Dean muttered. He had just checked the last window on the first floor and none of them had allowed him to see what was going on inside the house. "You sure it's this one?"

"Both Castiel and Ruby said that this is the place with the spells all over it," the older hunter said. "There's no place in town that's this protected."

Dean sighed. "Go start taking down the spells around the town. I'll head in there and see if I can figure out what they're doing."

"Dean, I don't want you facing those demons by yourself," Bobby protested.

Dean scowled, but said, "Fine. I won't take them on. Scouting mission and nothing more."

Bobby hesitated for a moment before nodding. "You watch out for yourself," he said. "And Sam. Don't want to come back and find out that something's happened to you two idjits."

Dean grinned. "Don't worry, Bobby, nothing's going to happen. I'll make sure of that."

Bobby nodded again and cautiously slipped away from the house. Dean watched his silent retreat for a few moments before turning and making his way towards the back door, where he was less likely to be seen by the neighbors but could still easily get inside. It took him less than a minute to pick the lock and, with Ruby's knife held tightly in one hand, a gun in the other, he pushed the door open.

To his surprise, no one seemed to be standing guard. Dean made his way carefully into the interior of the house, watching for any signs of the demons that should be in there. Faint chanting reached his ears and he followed the sounds towards what used to be a living room.

He peered around the doorway and froze. In the center of the room was Sam, pinned to the ground in a circle of about half a dozen demons. Aniel picked up a knife from a nearby table and crouched down in front of Sam, his back to the door. Dean took only a second to think about the situation before moving forward and firing two shots between the demons and into Aniel. It wouldn't kill him, but it would sure get his attention.

Aniel stood up and spun around. "Get away from my brother," Dean snarled. He kept Sam, currently trying to twist his head around to see what was going on, in his peripheral vision while he continued to stare at Aniel.

One of the other demons moved forward, but before Dean could kill her Aniel pushed her back. "No," he said. "This one's mine." She, along with the rest of the demons, fell back to allow Aniel clear access to Dean. "It won't make a difference whether you kill us or not," Aniel said, pinning Dean to the wall with a flick of his wrist. "The ritual is already done and as soon as Sam bleeds the seal will be broken, whether it happens now or ten years from now."

"Yeah, but I'm still gonna kill you." Dean lunged forward, only to find himself thrown back against the wall and pinned there. The knife dropped from his hand and skidded across the floor.

Aniel kicked the blade out of the room as he moved to stand in front of Dean. "Is this really how you planned your great rescue mission?" he taunted. "Were you really planning on charging in here and rescuing Sammy by your-"

He suddenly stopped and turned around. Dean strained to look past him and could just see Sam, somehow free, trying to fight off the rest of the demons. The brief moment of distraction weakened Aniel's hold on him enough for Dean to break free of his power. He hit the demon across the back of the head, knocking him off balance and stopping him from joining the fight with Sam.

"Dean!" Dean turned around just in time to catch the knife that Bobby tossed to him. He caught it and plunged it into Aniel's shoulder, holding it in place, giving Castiel just enough time to come up behind the demon and finish the job. The body slumped to the floor, the human that it had once been now long dead. Ruby had already grabbed the knife and joined in the fight in the back of the room, but had only managed to kill two before the others realized what had happened and fled the scene.

"Sam, were you cut?" Castiel asked quickly. "Is the seal broken?"

Sam looked down at his closed fist and slowly opened it, allowing a small trickle of blood to run through his fingers to drip onto the floor.


	9. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Though I wish I could claim credit, I can't.**

**A/N: So we've (finally) reached the end. Many thanks to everyone who's taken the time to review, despite my horrible updating skillz!**

The angel was the only one unaccounted for. Ruby had left not long after the fight was finished, and Bobby, Sam, and Dean had made the long ride back to Bobby's house, rather than stay in town until the locals discovered the bodies in the house. Now Sam was asleep in one of the spare rooms getting some much-needed rest, and Bobby had crashed on the couch while trying to do some research for another hunter.

Dean had wandered outside, not quite daring to hope that Castiel would show up. He knew that, at some point, the two of them would have to talk about what had happened with Aniel and he wanted to get it over with sooner rather than later.

Dean sighed. The whole situation was bothering him more than any other failed hunt had. It unnerved him to know how easily the demons had gotten close to them, how quickly he had obeyed his orders. Then, there was Cas. At some point, the angel had gotten under his skin. He hadn't been lying when he tried to talk to Castiel several days earlier. He _had_ grown to trust the guy, and in his line of work trust like that was too dangerous to have.

"It's not safe for you to be out here alone."

Dean didn't have to turn around to know who was there. He picked up the knife that was resting on the steps next to him and held it up for the angel to see. "Besides, with Aniel dead I'm not in any more danger than usual." He waited for Castiel to say something else, hoping that he wouldn't have to be the one to start the conversation.

Finally, after a few long, tense minutes during which Dean started to wonder if maybe the spell Aniel had put on him hadn't worn off, Castiel said, "Dean, I'm sorry for what happened to you and Sam."

Dean bit back a sigh and said, "It's not your fault, Cas." And it wasn't, really. Dean had had quite a bit of time to think things over while he was waiting for the angel to show up and he was pretty damn sure that he hadn't seen Castiel randomly. "You were trying to find us, weren't you?"

"Yes. The demon must have placed the hiding spells on you and Sam right away, then tried to cover the Impala as well, but for some reason your car was not fully hidden. I kept trying to track it, but it kept disappearing. I followed it to the motel, but the demon must have reinforced the spell because I lost it after that."

Dean moved the knife so it was resting by his feet, a silent invitation to join him on the steps. For a moment, he didn't think that Castiel recognized the action for what it was, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the angel move forward, and then sat down next to him. "Was that you, outside the motel that one night?" Castiel asked quietly.

"Yeah." Dean didn't elaborate. He didn't want to think about the times he needed the angel but Castiel didn't- _couldn't_, he reminds himself- show up, because then he'd only start thinking about how weak he was to need him in the first place, how weak he was to have let the fucking demon get under his skin.

"Once again, I'm sorry, Dean." Castiel's voice drew Dean from his thoughts. "I should have realized what was going on sooner, and not acted the way I did."

"Cas, it's not your fault!"

"I could have killed you." The sentence was quiet and Dean looked over at the angel in curiosity. He could have sworn that for a second he saw a look of guilt flash across Castiel's face, but when he did a double-take all he saw was the same stoic face he was used to.

"Yeah, and then you guys would lose your only chance at stopping the apocalypse, right?"

Castiel glanced over at him. "Your life is worth more than that, Dean, despite what some of my brothers may think."

Dean snorted. "Hate to disappoint you, but it's not. If I make it out of this mess alive- and that's a pretty damn big "if"- what am I supposed to do? I have nothing going for me, Cas. I can hunt, but I don't even know if I'm hunting the right thing anymore."

"You have Sam."

"I _had_ Sam," Dean corrected. "Half the time I don't know where I stand with him, and the other half-" He stopped abruptly and stared out into the night, refusing to finish what he had started to say. "Aniel said that anything I told him about hell would help them be able to find angels that got dragged down. Is that true?"

"No." Dean looked away, and Castiel almost wished he could have softened the blow for him. "The demons aren't even bothering to torture angels. They simply kill us, or send us out of our vessels and back into heaven."

"Then why would he…?" Dean didn't finish the question. He knew why Aniel had done what he did. He needed to prep Sam for breaking the seal, and needed something to do to make it seem like Dean was helping the fight as well. Having him describe what he did in hell was just for his own sick amusement. "Cas, I can't go through this again." The admission was soft, and probably wouldn't have been heard by any other mortal.

"You won't have to," Castiel promised.

Dean whirled around to face the angel. "You don't know that!" He said angrily. "You don't know what they're going to try to do next! I could wake up tomorrow and still be hallucinating you, or another demon could try to impersonate an angel, and every single fucking day I risk losing my brother in some new battle that I don't want any part of! So don't sit there and tell me that I won't have to go through that again, because you can't promise that!"

"Actually, I can." If anyone else had been talking Dean would have said they were being smug, but apart from being perhaps a bit more soothing Castiel's voice was as emotionless as ever. "I can't promise that the demons won't try anything again, or that your brother will be safe, but you won't have to worry about demons impersonating angels."

"How do you know?"

"We should have told you this from the beginning, but we never thought that the demons would try something like this," Castiel began, sounding almost remorseful. "The chances of me dying in battle without you being aware of it are very slim. If I'm not fighting to directly protect you, I'm the official runner for the garrison."

Dean frowned. "Meaning…?"

"Meaning that when the battle starts to favor the other side, I'm the one who retreats back so I can get word to my superiors," Castiel said. "This way, I'm out of harms way should the worse happen."

"Let me get this straight. You're telling me that you have orders to abandon your brothers if you think there's a chance things are going to go bad for you, just because you're heaven's direct link to me?"

Castiel nodded. "Essentially, yes. If I'm fighting by myself I won't be able to get in touch with anyone, though, and if I die then you'd be informed of it by an angel you already knew."

"And everyone else is okay with this?" Dean was still trying to comprehend the fact that Castiel was under orders to abandon everything, just because he was the only angel that Dean was really used to.

"They understand why it is necessary."

It wasn't really a proper response, but it answered Dean's question anyway. Luckily for the angel, Dean was too exhausted to push the matter. He hadn't really gotten a full night of sleep since the whole ordeal began and it was definitely taking its toll. "Cas? How long are you going to stick around this time?" Dean told himself that the question was purely so he wouldn't be surprised when the angel suddenly showed up, but he knew he was lying.

"I will stay for as long as my superiors allow me to," the angel replied. Another non-answer, but Dean knew it would be the only response he'd get.

And when he woke up the next morning to find Castiel long gone, he simply wondered why he put so much trust in angels in the first place.


End file.
